1 Down – 632,764,231,897,752 To Go!


It is March 14th, 2016 and I just killed a mosquito that was going to snack on me. Here is what was left of the bitch after I got through with her. Makes you want to think twice about messing with me πŸ˜‰

She is a pretty powerful beast and I’m not tooting my own horn here, however she is considered one of the most deadly animals in the world! (Most likely just under human). She can transmit infections such as malaria, yellow fever,Β west Nile virus, Chikungunya, dengue fever, filariasis, Zika virus and other arboviruses.

I’m sure our recent bout with over 50F degree temps woke her up from her hibernation. Yes, these bitches hibernate.

Those bloodsuckers can smell their dinner from a distance of up to 100 yards via carbon dioxide. Other things that tend to attract them include:

  • People with high concentrations of steroids or cholesterol on their skin attract mosquitoes. That doesn’t mean that these dive-bombers prey on people with higher, internal levels of cholesterol, but those people who have more of the byproducts of processing cholesterol, which remain on the skin’s surface.
  • People who produce a higher amount of certain acids, such as uric acid, can trigger a skeeters olfactory glands, luring them in.
  • So can Uncle Bob and his application of a half a bottle of Old Spice.
  • People wearing darker clothing.
  • People with type O Blood tend to get snacked on more, followed by B, with A coming in last.
  • People moving around and sweating, compared to the folks lounging on chaises.
  • The Drunks will get attacked more over the Sobers as alcohol raises temperatures and causes more flailing of the arms πŸ˜‰
  • That being said about the sweating above, more specifically, these whores like old sweat. Bacteria on your skin will change odor after it has been snacking on chemicals in your sweat. So, if you had a rough day of activities, then slow down for a seat at the campfire that evening without showering, you’re essentially screaming ‘Bite Me!’.
  • Another fav smell of the incarnates of evil are smelly feet! It’s the double-latte-three-shot-espresso version of old sweat. You may not attract any human females with that stench, but the mozzie females will go nuts. Don’t eat Limburger cheese either. Did you know it was the same bacteria that makes your feet smell. Eauuuu!
  • Stop eating bananas, the added potassium makes you more attractive to bite.Β  Eat more garlic and vitamin B1 instead.

I wish you the best in the upcoming season of itch.

Β© Ilex – Midwestern Plant Girl

42 thoughts on “1 Down – 632,764,231,897,752 To Go!

  1. Here in Australia we have Dengue Fever, Ross River Fever and Barmah Forest Virus. Fortunately, we don’t have malaria yet but it’s always a risk that it can come down from countries just north of us. I’ve had Ross River Fever on a few occasions and while it’s not a serious illness in itself, it can trigger auto-immune diseases if you have a genetic predisposition. We have a terrible mozzie problem where I live so I was interested to read your handy hints/facts. I’m O- blood type and sweat more than most people so that may explain why they tend to target me more. I love a lot about nature, but not so much the ticks and mosquitoes! Thanks for the handy tips! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello fellow alien! I too am O- πŸ‘Ύ
      I also used to be very anemic and they avoided me. It was one thing about the condition I liked. Then I go and have surgery to fix the anemia and BAM! I’m a skeeter magnet! Bummer!
      Our local problem is Lymes, sounds somewhat like the Ross Fever, ie some don’t even know they have it, others react badly.
      I can’t help but wonder if I’m going to be slapped with one of these mozzie-passed diseases or kill all 10 of my brain cells with the chemicals I spray on myself to not get bit! Gaaaa!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I first knock on wood 3 times…knock-knock-knock.. I’m rarely a victim of this bonsai-vampires… Mark said I’m even too evil to be mosquito-food… and I’m glad they ignore me… but that it starts in march this year is weird somehow…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “People moving around and sweating, compared to the folks lounging on chaises.”
    I first read this as “People moving around and swearing ….. ” and thought I’m in big trouble. Then realized I don’t move around a lot. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh, now you’ve turned my heebie-jeevies on! My brain doesn’t lump skeeters in with other parasitic things like ticks, leeches, fleas… Those guys are a WHOLE nother class of undesirables. I once found a tick on my ear in a horticulture class. It was an awkward spot for self removal. I asked a class of 30 students to please pull it off of me. They all squealed and gathered in the back corner of the room. Although they freak me out, I am calm until it’s disengaged from my body. I had to go to the professor next door. I told my kids that if you don’t get a thicker skin (heehee) you’ll never make it in the horticulture biz.

      Liked by 1 person

    • OMG! Thank goodness I’m a bit too urban to enjoy the flies at home. .. however, when we camp it’s a talent show of bugs during the day. Wake up with skeeters, lunch with yellow jackets, dinner with black flies, then circle back around to skeeters.
      Why do I camp? !? πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • When I lived in Vancouver, B.C., I only got a taste of these insect biters at the cottage. Now, they arrive in June and leave at the end of September. I almost pray for a cold frost to kill them off at the start of September. One can’t help looking forward to winter after being attacked by black flies and mosquitos all summer.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think I’ll pass this around to some friends. Evil, evil little snots…

    I haven’t seen any here in the southeast yet. It’s a wonder with our temperatures spiking into the 70s, but we’re getting some nasty drops at night that might be staving them off. Forget the cockroaches, I believe mosquitoes will be the insect rulers of the apocalypse. Unless there are no humans, then they’ll probably promptly die out since we’re more fun to irritate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Those stupid things can hibernate also. They may just be hiding for later. 😠
      I think those butt heads would fly to heaven (or back to hell) to find us, if we ever departed the planet! Gaaa! They are menaces!


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