Tag Archive | funny

Twin Tuesday ~ Easy Weimaraner

Bon Chew-y… nugget bars!

I didn’t have to go to Google translate to translate what ‘Bon Chew’ meant… Most of my two semesters of French have stuck in my head. Of course I remember the swear words 😉 Or an insult… Vous êtes une tête de merde!

I can’t remember how long I’ve been following the antics of the Weimaraners here at Easy Blog*. Yes, that was plural. Easy the Weimaraner had me following him at the first post I laid eyes on. I laughed my ass off!! He was so smart and wise as he taught class on his very own king-sized bed-classroom. His students may not have been able to hear, see or smell Easy’s class, due to MIA body parts caused by a bon chew… butt that’s neither here nor there… Easy also loved to help the staff do chores around the house. Most of the time this consisted of opening packages from the post (wo)man, sometimes not in the most gentle way… Letting the woman know that it was time to get rid of some shoes… And many times he tried to guide the staff in DIY projects, however they usually ended in disaster, whether it be the woman’s fault or the man trying to cut his own parts off.

Sadly, Easy the Weimaraner had to go to the Rainbow Bridge last year. It was unexpected and very sad for all of us. 😦

However, there is a new kid in town named Da Phenny, and he’s not far behind his beloved brother Easy in his style and grace!! Da Phenny has already proven himself worthy of opening packages, directing the staff on DIY projects, digging to America and other chores around the pad.

As the new kid in town, Da Phenny is still a bit wet-behind-the-ears… He still as to learn a few things about cohabitation with the staff. This is where the pad of shame comes in. Sadly, it seems Da Phenny tends to land here many times. Many, many times.  Even the woman gets a dose of the pad of shame! Although I’m sure the Weim did probably have something to do with it!!!

I’ve come to learn about the pad of shame at my own house. Here I am trying to explain to Breck that it wasn’t my fault that the Dog store was out of Liver treats!!!

  • I think it’s been 4 years!

© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Irony

My hubby just installed our new, large, toyhauler mailbox last weekend. Our mail person is going to love it, as they can fit much larger packages in it and not have to drive up to the house to drop them off.

I do have an odd set-up for the front of my home. The true, front door is not convenient to use, as it drops you off into a small hallway in the living room. I much prefer using the garage entrance that then goes into the kitchen. Way more accessible to everything and a much larger foyer, so to speak.

I have a long bench right by this door that is out of the elements and a great place to leave packages, as I will see them walking up. The front door has no protection from rain. Even though I have blocked the front stoop from access with flower pots, it doesn’t stop them from hopping over and putting them there. It’s really only UPS and FedEx that does it. I usually have a note in the mailbox, telling the mail carrier to place them on the bench…

Since I had a new mailbox, I needed to write out a new note to hang inside, informing the carriers of my wishes that larger packages be placed on the bench. This was my first attempt. DOH!!!!

© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Why You Must Listen Better

My Grandfather was a hoot! He learned to play the piano at a young age and then went on to learn many other instruments as well. He became a music teacher and even played saxophone in Jazz band.

While visiting him, he always had fun things to tell us grand kids. This was one of my favorite poems he would recite to us. He had many animated jesters to go with the lines. Too, too funny.

funny-man

When God gave out heads,

I thought He said Beds,

and I asked for a soft one.

When God gave out looks,

I thought He said books,

and I didn’t want any.

When God gave out noses,

I thought He said roses

and I asked for a large, red one.

When God gave out ears,

I thought He said beers,

and I asked for two big ones.

When God gave out chins,

I thought He said gins,

and I asked for a double.

When God gave out brains,

I though He said trains

and I said I’d take the next one.

When God gave out legs,

I though He said kegs,

So I ordered two fat ones.

Since then I’m trying to listen better. =-)

*I tried to find an author to this to no avail. Please correct me if you do!

Shut the F-ing Door! Were You Born in a Barn?!?

“Were you born in a barn?” I can still hear my Mother’s voice uttering this phrase…. After us kids were old enough to sass her with, “I don’t know. I was just being born. Where did you decide to birth me?” She changed her response to an open door with, “I didn’t marry the electric man!” or “Don’t let all the bought air out!”

Those nagging comments make their point. Shut the F-ing door! How hard is it to do? You’re forgiven for the few times your arms are full, however unless that is the reason… Shut the front door! Or back, side, garage or even the car door.

My Mother ran a tight ship that had us three children (my brother, me and the eldest child, my father) kept in line, for the most part. She grew up during the depression and was frugal. I also get the concept from a frugality standpoint… I don’t want to pay to cool/heat the world. Let alone the fact of all the critters that can get access to your domain; stink bugs, skeeters, mice, moths, wasps.. Oh My!

My boys, Breck and Oreo aren’t genius dogs, but they have their moments. Breck is smart when he wants to be, and the outcome will benefit him. Oreo tries so hard to understand what we want of him, tiny smoke rings blow out his ears. So cute. Once he does ‘get’ something, he doesn’t forget it tho.

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The kitchen door in the photo goes out to our garage, where there is a doggy door that exits to the yard. This is perfect, as if muddy paws or any other nastiness needs to be dealt with, it happens in the garage. This would also mean that the dogs would need to stay in the garage until a human has time to deal with them…. Not come in when they wanted, full of god knows what!!!

When we chose to change the locks, my husband thought this type of handle would be easier to use when your hands were full. Who knew that it also is easier for Breck to open the door also! Breck understands doors that open by swinging out, however not doors that swing in. He knows the knobs are crucial to how it works, but in his 9 years hasn’t coordinated pulling and twisting a knob together, only pushing and twisting. Click here to see his attempt to open the basement door.

Thank goodness the little one has not learned his brothers tricks. Oreo sits quietly on the step, waiting for us or his brother to be let in.

Since this has been happening, I have been trying to teach both of them, “SHUT THE DOOR” to no avail. Has anyone out there taught their dogs how? I’d love to know your secret! Until then, I will enjoy the fact that after 10 years of my Mother not being on the same plane as me, I can still hear her voice.

© Ilex – Midwestern Plant Girl

Border Collies – The Animal Kingdom’s Meteorologist

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Incoming!!!!!

I rarely have to check the weather to see if a storm is on the way, as Breck let’s me know by becoming ‘clingy’ (Clink-on dog) or hiding. I’ve written many posts about this already…

There is a prediction of 8″ of snow on the way to us. I found Breck hiding behind the boxes in the garage, after I had let him outside and then had a heart attack  when I couldn’t find him in the yard. Thanks, Buddy… not. When it comes to snowstorms it’s funny… He knows they are coming, however he doesn’t freak as much since there is no thunder. Rarely, do we get thundersnows, ie, thunder during snowstorms. Watch the video below about a meteorologist and his reaction to the rare phenomenon.

Cliff’s Version: The ingredients necessary for thundersnow are so exceptional that it’s estimated only .07 % of snowstorms are associated with thunder. In a 30 year study of snowstorms with lightning, meteorologists found there’s an 86 % chance that at least 6” inches of snow will accumulate within a 70 mile radius of the lightning.

I remember the first time we experienced a thundersnow. It had started to snow so we went out to get some energy (anxiety) out before the snow hit hard and filled the yard. All of a sudden a huge, varicose vein of a lightning covered the sky, then a very loud clap of thunder! It was super awesome to experience… well, at least for the humans. The fur kids were high-tailing it for the garage.

Animals might react to incoming weather events and natural disasters wp-1481903109197.jpgby using one or all of their five senses which are usually better than a human’s. Many weather occurrences generate sounds in the infrasonic range, too low for humans to hear, however well within the range of many animal species.

Scientists have observed animals being effected by barometric pressure and sound waves. Sea birds are frequently noted flying inland when the pressure drops before a storm.

I do believe animals can sense many types of weather or natural disasters. Read here about the animals in the area of the Asiatic tsunami of December 2004. Animals don’t think about paying bills, having the latest android, if they should dye their gray hair, quit their job… They only need to think about survival; food, water, shelter, procreation, safety. When that’s all you have to think about, you get good at learning about these things. Stupid humans… why do we clutter ourselves so??

© Ilex – Midwestern Plant Girl

Another Dog Dilemma for the Oreo

Oreo can’t get enough tennis balls. He loves to chew, chase and de-fuzz them!

Normally, we keep all the dog toys in the white rack on the wall where he may be able to see them, however not get to them. He knows they are there, and when he want’s to play, he will sit in front of it and stare at the rack. This time he noticed there was a ball near the rack that he could reach. He didn’t understand it was on a rope!

I’ll have more info about this ‘ball on a rope’ in an upcoming post. For now, just enjoy and laugh at the poor, ‘lil guy!!

Previous Dilemma’s in a Dog’s Life  1 2345 – 6

 

© Ilex – Midwestern Plant Girl