Tag Archive | humor

I’m Hiding! Peek-a-boo With Your Dog

Breck doesn’t beg while I eat, however when he wants a snack, he’ll start the ‘Staring Game’. Clearly, it starts with a stare. He then moans.. and again. Then cries a bit. He might move right into a full bark or a Grrr. At this point, I usually try to move, put a foot in the way or blanket over my head. He’s smarter than a 3 year old. Here is just another stupid attempt at the hoo-man to fool the dog. πŸ˜‰ Riiiiight.

Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Sunday Political Funny

https://midwesternplants.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/wpid-20141025_114916_richtonehdr.jpg?w=714

I’m a Libertarian, however this is good!

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be a high-ranking government official or legislator someday. Both of her parents, Democrat Party members, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were in that government position what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied… “I’d pass laws to give food and houses to all the homeless people.” Her parents beamed with pride!

“Wow…what a worthy goal!” I said. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re in the government to do that!”

“What do you mean?” she replied.

So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the local bar where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or housing.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents aren’t speaking to me anymore.

Twin Tuesday ~ Easy Weimaraner

Bon Chew-y… nugget bars!

I didn’t have to go to Google translate to translate what ‘Bon Chew’ meant… Most of my two semesters of French have stuck in my head. Of course I remember the swear words πŸ˜‰ Or an insult… Vous Γͺtes une tΓͺte de merde!

I can’t remember how long I’ve been following the antics of the Weimaraners here at Easy Blog*. Yes, that was plural. Easy the Weimaraner had me following him at the first post I laid eyes on. I laughed my ass off!! He was so smart and wise as he taught class on his very own king-sized bed-classroom. His students may not have been able to hear, see or smell Easy’s class, due to MIA body parts caused by a bon chew… butt that’s neither here nor there… Easy also loved to help the staff do chores around the house. Most of the time this consisted of opening packages from the post (wo)man, sometimes not in the most gentle way… Letting the woman know that it was time to get rid of some shoes… And many times he tried to guide the staff in DIY projects, however they usually ended in disaster, whether it be the woman’s fault or the man trying to cut his own parts off.

Sadly, Easy the Weimaraner had to go to the Rainbow Bridge last year. It was unexpected and very sad for all of us. 😦

However, there is a new kid in town named Da Phenny, and he’s not far behind his beloved brother Easy in his style and grace!! Da Phenny has already proven himself worthy of opening packages, directing the staff on DIY projects, digging to America and other chores around the pad.

As the new kid in town, Da Phenny is still a bit wet-behind-the-ears… He still as to learn a few things about cohabitation with the staff. This is where the pad of shame comes in. Sadly, it seems Da Phenny tends to land here many times. Many, many times.Β  Even the woman gets a dose of the pad of shame! Although I’m sure the Weim did probably have something to do with it!!!

I’ve come to learn about the pad of shame at my own house. Here I am trying to explain to Breck that it wasn’t my fault that the Dog store was out of Liver treats!!!

  • I think it’s been 4 years!

Β© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Spring Blooming Flowers 4-24-2017

Happy Monday!

Is everyone ready for Spring?? I am, for the most part, nothing has changed in all the years I’ve been in Midwestern landscaping. The phones at work are starting to glow, emails are filled with requests for new projects to be done ASAP. Seriously?!! Where were you all winter? I’m working on the projects that smart folks called me about in February. Smarter folks actually called me last December. Their plans have been approved, permits pulled, material produced and trees dug. All while you thought about your winter vacation and forgot about your landscape. And now you are angry that I’ve not gotten a quote back to you in less than three days? On top of that, do you really think you’re going to get into the construction schedule anytime soon? Huge belly laugh!!! Foolish 1%er. The economy is better now and your yelling for prime service is falling on deaf ears.

Click here for all things blooming in 2013 – 2014 – 2015 – 2016

Muscari spp. ~ Grape Hyacinth

Erythronium americanum ~ Trout lily

Dicentra cucullaria ~ Dutchman’s Breechs

These are related to the Bleeding heart.

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Viburnum Γ— burkwoodii ~ Burkwood ViburnumΒ Β  ||Β Β  Mertensia virginica ~ Virginia Bluebells

Stylophorum diphyllum ~ Celandine poppy

A fav of mine. I’ve had these in my garden for the last 11 years. They are hassle free and continue to grow without any assistance from me. They are one of the longest blooming flowers I know of. It has bloomed for me from April through October, fairly regularly. It is very happy under a limbed-up spruce on the East side of my property.

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Pyrus calleryana ‘Chanticleer’ ~ Chanticleer PearΒ  ||Β  Special Daffy in my yard.

Sanguinaria canadensis ~ Bloodroot

Another one in my East-side shade garden. These bloom for such a short time, it’s a shame. They even close their flowers at night. Remember where these are in the fall, as the leaves turn a brilliant red during the harvest months.

Β© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Twin Tuesday ~ Mad Cap Dog Edition

Scifihammy over at Mad Cap Dog cracks me up on Sunday’s with her ‘Sunday Musings’. Here’s my attempt at a Tuesday Musing…

Tuesday: The day after Monday that reminds you that you still have four more days of not trying to slap a fellow co-worker.Β Β Β 

Three horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday 2. Tomorrow is not Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.

Dear Tuesday, nobody likes you either. You’re just Monday’s ugly cousin.

Remember ~ I’m a blogger, Jim. Not a Sunday Muser!

Β© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Punked my Pups!

I don’t like to waste food, and lucky for the boys there was some left over ham from the weeks sandwiches. Instead of cutting it up and mixing it in, I decided to be an a$$hole and stick it to the bottom of the bowl, under their food >:-D

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I don’t normally feed them in the living room, however I knew I’d be documenting their progress.

Oreo went straight to working on getting the ham out.

Breck was just gobbling! So much so, his bowl was rolling all over.

Β© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Irony

My hubby just installed our new, large, toyhauler mailbox last weekend. Our mail person is going to love it, as they can fit much larger packages in it and not have to drive up to the house to drop them off.

I do have an odd set-up for the front of my home. The true, front door is not convenient to use, as it drops you off into a small hallway in the living room. I much prefer using the garage entrance that then goes into the kitchen. Way more accessible to everything and a much larger foyer, so to speak.

I have a long bench right by this door that is out of the elements and a great place to leave packages, as I will see them walking up. The front door has no protection from rain. Even though I have blocked the front stoop from access with flower pots, it doesn’t stop them from hopping over and putting them there. It’s really only UPS and FedEx that does it. I usually have a note in the mailbox, telling the mail carrier to place them on the bench…

Since I had a new mailbox, I needed to write out a new note to hang inside, informing the carriers of my wishes that larger packages be placed on the bench. This was my first attempt. DOH!!!!

Β© Ilex ~ Midwestern Plant Girl

Twin Tuesday – Key Image Photographers and Bertie the Bear

There’s a cute, reoccurring adventurer that graces the pages of Key Image Photography called Bertie.Β  He is just the most adorable bear and along with his friend Croc who joins him on some pretty crazy travels!

I also have a traveling friend that goes everywhere my convertible goes. His name is ‘Goatee’, clearly because he is a goat that sports a pretty rad goatee! He likes to ride in my passenger seat visor, high up so he can see all the sights. Making sure there’s no Smokies on my tail… Goatee and I really get along great as we’re both Capricorns! He also never complains about my driving. That’s key in this relationship.

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Β© Ilex – Midwestern Plant Girl